When Joy Seems Stolen

Some of life's hardest moments involve dealing with circumstances where we feel our joy has been stolen.  As if someone has literally taken it without asking; or has snatched it away from us without our consent. Often, these feelings of stolen joy occur during moments of betrayal, manipulation, secrecy, lies and deceit.  It's in these moments that we feel our ability to experience joy is fully out of our control. So much so that we almost waive our right to affirm our own joy in our lives. We deny ourselves joy because of others' wrongdoing against us. And we slowly shift the responsibility for our joy onto those who have afflicted us. We feel joy is lost because it feels stolen. And in turn, we convince ourselves that it's someone else's duty to give it back. But the truth is, what's your birthright; cannot be stolen. And what's yours to steward over cannot selectively become someone else's responsibility to regulate and control. For someone who's been wronged, one of the hardest concepts to grasp is fully understanding that others are not responsible for our joy and happiness. We ask ourselves, "How can I be held responsible for my own happiness when I wasn't the cause of my unhappiness?" It's in these kinds of moments that life requires a radical version of your "joy practice." It's in these moments that leisure can no longer guide your joy; but rather, intention, discipline and consistency must take the lead. Making sense of wrongdoing will never make wrongdoing right. Sometimes the only justice available is the joy you're willing to gain, the light you're willing to walk towards, and the morning you're willing to wake up to. Joy doesn't demand dishonesty. It doesnt ask you to fake a smile when dealing with life's harsh circumstances. It doesn't even ask you to speak kindly when no kind words are within reach. Joy will never demand that you deny your hurt.  Rather, it will simply ask that you mutually make room for your healing. It will remind you that two true things can coexist simultaneously; while working to let go of pain, you can simultaneously grab hold of your triumph. While letting go of your justified indignation, you can simultaneously work to reclaim your power and authority. Joy often feels stolen because trust is quick to break. The swiftness of trust breaking, along with the strategy required to maintain secrecy, and the conscious undertaking required to deceive others can make one feel plotted against, taken advantage of, disregarded, discarded and left in the dark. It's in these moments where your hurt is justified. But joy is still yours to grab hold to. After facing betrayal, life doesn't require you to return to an outdated version of joy.  But rather life will ask you to be open to  entering into a new version of delight. After harsh circumstances in life, joy will likely not look like it once was. What was old joy will likely no longer fit your new reality. The conduits that use to spark your joy may no longer look the same. The people, places and things that use to be apart of your delight, may no longer be apart of your new joy journey. And thats ok. Because joy is an inward sport. Not an outward one. It doesn't demand that you people-please your way to joy. Joy doesn't require people to co-sign off on your healing journey. It doesn't assign you the duty of making people happy and comfortable. It only tasks you with finding happiness and comfort within yourself. Joy demands that you steward over yourself harder, stronger, better and with more purpose. Joy doesn't require outside validation. It demands authority; authority in affirming your birthright.  Where joy is seemingly stolen, new identities are revealed. Character is built, endurance for facing life's hurdles is strengthened, boundaries become clearer, self preservation becomes activated and your spiritual eye is sharpened. So the next time you feel like someone or something has stolen your joy, be reminded that you are the only steward over it. And only you can choose who's allowed access to it. The Universe has given you everything you need to  stand tall and firm in your birthright. You got this.